People who genuinely care about you will be excited to learn everything there is to know about you. Even if they don’t know every little detail, they still know you and some of your core traits. For example, not everyone feels comfortable sharing their whole life with their parents.
The same is true for your friends and romantic interests. If they genuinely care, they will always want to learn things about you. They’ll know your favorite foods or how you take your coffee. And they will probably know how quickly you get tipsy when you go out. Someone who doesn’t care won’t know these things. They might not even know obvious things, such as your eyes’ color. Sure, they will pretend to know things.
Sometimes, it’s active behaviors that are red flags. But passive behaviors are just as bad. In this case, when someone doesn’t try to do anything nice for you and doesn’t put in any effort, that’s a bad sign. Sure, they might go out to dinner when you plan everything.
If you ever hang out only when you ask them to, that’s probably because they wouldn’t mind not seeing you again. Or maybe they do text you sometimes, but they are only content with doing the bare minimum. They don’t ever ask you to go somewhere nice, or they never plan anything other than a casual hang out. This is not enough, even from a family member or a friend. Any relationship requires special moments, so both parties must put in some effort.
Next time you want to test someone, don’t text them and see how long they take to text you. Some people you talk to are just there because you always communicate with them. This also is related to how much effort someone puts in, but it’s not the same. Not getting texts from your friends and family is an obvious red flag.
But some people in your life will refuse to communicate, even though they might keep in touch. Some people refuse to take about heavier stuff and are just content with cracking a joke or two when you meet. As you probably know, relationships are based on communication. So, when someone doesn’t stay in touch or open up, that will affect your relationship.
One of the worst behaviors people engage in is getting angry, especially when they don’t care to control it. Sure, some people are more predisposed to being angry. But if they are good people, they will work towards managing that anger. At least they’ll do it for the people they care for. But, if someone doesn’t care about you, that will show in their actions.
Unfortunately, some people have no interest in accepting you. Instead, they’ll want to change you so that you fit whatever image they have constructed of you in their head. Or maybe they want to force you to tick the boxes on their imaginary requirements list.
It’s about them gaslighting you and making you feel terrible about who you are. If you have a friend who doesn’t accept you, they’ll act in ways that make you feel inadequate. For example, if you show up one day with blue hair, they’ll probably make fun of you and gaslight you into dyeing it back to what they deem an acceptable color. But this is not just about something as shallow as hair color.
Someone who cares will put their ideas and emotions aside if they see you happy. Say you have a good friend and share with them that you want to start a business, and it’s more of an unconventional idea. If that friend genuinely cares, they will encourage and accept you even if you have crazy dreams. And their actions will never make you feel like you must act a specific way to warrant their love.