A lie is a lie. It doesn’t matter if it’s white, black, or green. This includes lying by omission or withholding information, which is also profoundly dishonest. Someone who lies about anything no matter how insignificant they think it is, is not a trustworthy partner.
True honesty and integrity are some of the hardest traits to come by these days and it’s not a virtue you should overlook. You should be able to trust your partner, to be honest with you about everything. A transparent relationship is a healthy relationship.
No family is perfect and they all have their quirks and minor annoyances, but if your partner’s family is meddling, judgmental, jealous, or hypercritical, it is considered emotional abuse and if your partner won’t or can’t stand up to them it’s likely to be a deal-breaker. This is not the kind of family you want to marry into.
Unless you want to spend your life walking on eggshells and feeling constantly judged and ridiculed, opt for a partner with an evolved, open-minded family that understands boundaries and respects your relationship.
If your partner lacks resolve, and independent thinking skills, and always needs approval from others, this is not a partner who will have your back in life. You are not dealing with a mature adult or someone who has the ability to be the kind of strong, capable partner you need.
Life can be challenging and scary, and the only kind of partner that is going to hold up through the test of time is a strong, resilient partner who can be your rock.
There is a big difference between being run-of-the-mill “nice” and being “kind.” Anyone can be “nice.” Nice involves surface-level politeness that does not have to be genuine and it does not require empathy or integrity. They smile on cue, bring the right gifts, say all the right things, and hold the door open for you.
For example, you may find that “nice” people may be pleasant to your face, but then surprisingly nasty behind your back. You’ll sometimes find that the people who thrive off being labeled “nice” may be overcompensating for something or have dark secrets.
This is always such a touchy subject and for good reason. You’re probably going to spend a lot of time with these people and if they’re immature and disrespectful, suffice it to say you’re going to have a hard time reconciling wanting to be with your partner and not wanting to be around people that think making fun of disabled people or cracking homophobic/sexist jokes is so hilarious.
There is a big difference between being a humor-less killjoy versus not going along with things that go against your values and violate basic human decency. We’re all supposed to be adults here and we’re supposed to know that just because a group is doing or saying something doesn’t make it right.