Loving Despite Differences

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Don’t expect perfection in the person you love or in yourself. This sets incredibly unrealistic expectations. Neither of you will be able to live up to these standards, and you both will end up hurt and disappointed.

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Don’t expect perfection

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Yes, bad things will happen in your relationships. You’ll say the wrong thing or your partner will hurt your feelings.

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Learn lessons and apply them to your relationships

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It’s hard to feel love toward someone when you’re really mad or upset at your partner. Whether you and your partner become volatile or avoid fights, there’s actually no systematic differences in couple happiness.

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Reconcile your differences.

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– Positive interactions include physical intimacy such as touching, smiling, and laughing.

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Balance your negative and positive feelings toward each other

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your partner is truly in love with you, they’ll make you feel physically and emotionally safe when you’re with them. They won’t threaten you, put you down, try to control you, or cut off your social support system.

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They make you feel safe

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They’ll try to address and resolve issues rather than avoid difficult conversations, discuss relationship boundaries with you, and navigate conflicts respectfully.

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You can communicate meaningfully.

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– If you are unhappy or impatient being single, make the best of the situation. Pursue opportunities that are difficult to accomplish with a partner or a family. Travel, acquire lots of close friends and enjoy your perpetual freedom.

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Accept that you don’t need a partner to feel complete

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– In opening up to you, they may talk about their childhood, greatest regrets, most painful moments, or romantic dreams for the future. If they say, "I've never told anyone this before...", it’s a sign they love and trust you.

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– Keep in mind that vulnerability and emotional intimacy doesn’t come naturally to everyone. They might not be comfortable with it, but if they love you, they’ll make an effort to learn and improve.

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– You can tell someone is actively listening because they’ll make eye contact, lean in towards you, and nod along to show you that they’re paying attention.

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They listen actively and remember small details.

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Words and Phrases for Romantic Relationships