You can have the dynamic of a mentor and a mentee in a relationship. One person is the one who is more mature and tries to teach the other how to handle their lives better. And the other is quiet and listens to everything their partner tells them to do. Or maybe the dynamic is not as pronounced, and, truth be told, it usually isn’t.
A relationship requires a lot of work on both sides. If you and your partner don’t make efforts to work things out, you won’t stand the test of time. Sure, you can have a casual relationship that won’t require too much effort. But those types of relationships aren’t fulfilling.
Plus, there is a lot of uncertainty in this world. People have to struggle with it every day. Even the coziest job could be lost if things don’t work out in your favor. So, people want to have some stability in their relationships. You can understand why people might need to raise their partner.
People need to live their life freely and be allowed to make mistakes. This is the only way they can learn and create a life that will truly make them happy. So, even if someone has only the best intentions, if they raise their partners, they only do them a disservice.
All relationships are built differently, requiring their unique dynamic to work properly. But no relationship built on a power dynamic has ever been successful. When someone holds more power than their partner, there’s always the risk that the less powerful person will get abused. This has been seen in all areas of society.
No matter what, the power imbalance will be there if you need to raise your partner. But that doesn’t mean you have to exploit it. And most people won’t take advantage of this and won’t outright abuse your partner. But that still doesn’t mean raising your partner will make you happy.
In relationships, people need their space and freedom. They don’t need to feel like the other is trying to change them. This will only make them feel like they are not accepted and can’t even be themselves around the person who is supposed to love them the most. Ultimately, this type of relationship will either end or last, but it will be filled with pain and unhappiness.
In romantic relationships, people need to be able to learn, make mistakes and grow at their own pace. No adult needs to be told what to do and parented, especially not by their partner. While some people have genuine reasons to try to raise their partners, that doesn’t make it moral or beneficial to any party involved. On the contrary, it only causes unhappiness and issues.
When you parent someone you are romantically involved with, it just creates a power imbalance and a fundamentally unhappy relationship. This means there is a higher likelihood of the relationship becoming abusive or toxic. It also puts a lot of pressure on both people, turning what should be a fantastic connection into a burden. Lastly, it creates trust issues that can lead to you breaking up and ruining something that could have been beautiful.
In such a busy life, letting time with your partner fall by the wayside is easy. However, making time for your partner is essential for building an emotional connection and maintaining a healthy relationship.