tips for handling a long distance break up

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In my very early 20s, I was in a long-distance, uhhh, situation-ship that lasted for about 2 years. Now that I’m in my late 20s, I know there was so much about that relationship that I wish I could have done differently.

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Before it happens

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Loving someone who is physically far requires more communication compared to non-long-distance relationships. Mostly because, well, that’s your main way of interaction.

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Decide if you truly wish to break up

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But if you’ve decided to end the relationship, you need to let them know that you’re going to have The Talk. It’s one of the things I regret when I essentially ghosted my past significant other.

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Let them know you’re going to have The Talk

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Breaking up over text feels blindsiding to the receiver and so impersonal.

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As much as possible, don’t do it over text or instant messaging

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Inversely, if you think you need to get out of that relationship immediately, then do so. It’s case-to-case at best.

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Find the right timing.

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Until the conversation happens or is underway, you wouldn’t really fully know the other person’s reactions. They could get angry, they could be frustrated, they could lash out, they could just shut down, or they could be completely calm about it.

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Stay calm

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The word “time” here is so representative of all the things we can address in long-distance relationships. It takes time to get closer, it takes time to go closer. To bridge the physical and emotional distance.

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Hear them out

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If this relationship didn’t start off long-distance but you just couldn’t carry the weight of it or couldn’t cope when it became one, you’re allowed to be sad over that as well. You didn’t fail as a person just because your relationship did.

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Treat this breakup as you would any non-long-distance breakup

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– Deleting or archiving messaging threads. – Unfriending, blocking, or muting them on social media. – Deleting or archiving photos of each other. – Not asking about them to mutual friends

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Cut off contact

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t’s good to be reminded that we are loved, appreciated, and wanted. So lean, it’s okay to rest your head against the softest places and people you know

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Surround yourself with people who love you

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The importance of giving attention in a relationship