– Where are you? – Who are you with? – How do you feel?
Lies can take different forms. Erin Bryant, author of a small 2008 study looking at how college students separated white lies from other types of dishonesty, suggests lies can be divided into several categories.
Do any of those phrases sound familiar? Have you said them without an ounce of sincerity? Maybe they’re half true: You’d like to hang out but you aren’t feeling it right this minute.
Remember the old adage, “honesty is the best policy”? There’s a reason it’s stuck around. Lying (or omitting the truth) really doesn’t help anyone, including yourself.
If you’re trying to be more honest, don’t attempt to flip a switch and stop lying entirely from that point forward. Sure, it might sound like a good plan, but it’s not realistic.
If acquaintances, co-workers, or family members ask prying questions about your personal life, you might feel tempted to lie and get them off your back. At the same time, you aren’t obligated to give everyone open access to your life.
Dishonesty might help you stall when you need to make a decision, but it generally doesn’t solve problems.
Discomfort with the truth can lead to lies that attempt to control or change a situation. If you feel unhappy or distressed by something but believe you can’t change it, you might attempt to deceive yourself and others instead of accepting how you truly feel.
There’s a good chance when you were a kid, one of your parents said something like this: “Even if you don’t like your birthday present from Grandma, tell her it’s just what you wanted so you don’t hurt her feelings.”
She suggests using skills like intuition and timing, or even tracking how conversations pan out, before deciding what you’ll say and how you’ll navigate the path ahead.