10 Ways to Be Assertive in a Relationship

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Know your worth

There is little hope for assertive communication in relationships without understanding your value. Know your value and let it be your guide.

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Change the way you communicate

If you’re asking, how can I be more assertive? Start with the way that you communicate. Learn the basics of effective communication, and utilize them in everyday situations.

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Stick to the facts

Conflict often occurs because we are responding to things that are not facts. By sticking to the facts, you avoid getting lost in the excess.

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Stop judging, and start understanding

It is easy to assume that we know what another person is thinking, but we only know ourselves. Stop judging your partner’s behavior by assuming you know what they are thinking or feeling,

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Share what you know

Assertive communication in a relationship requires sharing what you feel. Use I statements to help you pinpoint the issue and share your feelings with your partner.

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State behavior, results and feelings

Sticking to this formula allows you to get to the result faster and with less conflict. Share the behavior that caused the issue, the result of that behavior, and how it makes you feel.

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Take time to breathe

If things are not going as planned or you do not know what to say, take a moment to breathe. It will give you a chance to gather your thoughts.

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Don’t let guilt guide you

One of the biggest obstacles to being assertive in a relationship is getting past the guilt of saying no. Remember, you say ‘no’ to the request, not the person.

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Practice positive self-talk

Positive self-talk plays a vital role in being assertive in a relationship. Get ready by reminding yourself that you are valuable and your needs are equally important.

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Embody assertiveness

Genuinely listen and find out where the other person is coming from so you can have leverage. You need to be very careful to listen to what you are hearing back from the person with whom you are talking.

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10 Ways on How to Put Yourself First in a Relationship and Why

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