You can't understand why your boyfriend or husband claims you don't show him any respect. You're baffled that your wife or girlfriend says you're "impossible" to please.
This seemingly harmless word is "but." Unfortunately, it's commonly used by both men and women all of the time in casual and more serious conversations.
This word not only stands in the way of effective communication between you and your partner but also, ultimately, your capacity to have a long-lasting, healthy and happy relationship.
Many of us use it to deliver what we really think with the intention to soften the harshness. Despite this attempt, the emphasis is on what we're disappointed about or critical of.
Your partner sees right through this. He or she will mostly hear whatever comes after the "but" and is likely to feel confused, hurt and angry because of it. This is why trying to communicate better has, up until this point, failed.
Get curious about what it is you've been really wanting to say to your partner but haven't known how to express yourself effectively. This could be something you've been hinting at and hedging around, or maybe it's something you've already said, but not tactfully.
Get curious about what it is you've been really wanting to say to your partner but haven't known how to express yourself effectively. This could be something you've been hinting at and hedging around, or maybe it's something you've already said, but not tactfully.
As unfair as it may seem that you have to do anything different when it's your partner who is stubbornly clinging to their ways, if you want to see a change, there will be times when you simply have to take the lead. Finding new, more productive ways to communicate is a way to do that.